In life we usually attract what seems to be a contrasting counter part in every aspect of life. Generally, a victim cannot be a victim without an aggressor and vice versa. A dominant person needs submissive individuals to affirm their dominance, just as a submissive need to be dominated to affirm their powerlessness. Guilt can only exist in the presence of someone who claims innocence of any emotional responsibility in their life by making others responsible. It is therefore no coincidence that one will always find the other. The forces that attract them to one to the other are within the issues they hold. The underlying issues in their ego self have strong similarities even if they appear contradictory when judged by their habit and behaviour.
In the process of living life we are all unconsciously attracted to those personalities who mirror of our issues. These encounters create the opportunities we need transcend our emotional issues in order to grow and evolve beyond the limitations these create for us. Every consciousness has the primary intent to grow and evolve through every opportunity that the experience itself provides through the encounters it manifests. It is by design of the process imbedded in our life experiences that we attract those people and situations that are a reflection of the emotional issues we need to deal with.
The expansion of our consciousness depends on our transcendence of these issues to strive towards existing in harmony with our own spirit. This intent is within each of us whether exercised consciously or not. In part this is achieved through fulfilling our potential; driven by our incessant creativity, aspirations and talents and abilities. Every resource and potential of our consciousness seeks to propel us towards deeper self-understanding of the nature of our consciousness and our place in the universe. This can only be brought about if we change the vey nature of who we are in our own perception.
Our learning never ceases and takes place in every life experience we are expose ourselves to. Relationships in particular provide a definitive experience because it confronts us with all the basic emotional elements of our self. As a consequence relationship have the tendency to consume much of our focus and self-expression in daily life. The confrontation of issues often challenges our most fundamental emotional needs, fears and insecurities — to be unconditionally loved wanted and accepted and to be able to trust and be trusted. The issues of your partner and yours will intermesh like the gears in a clock and so more than often initially the state of their emotional mind will seem like perfect match for yours.
There are countless examples but the point is that in each situation one seeks to resolve issues finding someone who will compensate for them. That goes both ways; the knight has a need to proof is strength and masculinity and needs a powerless maiden to do so. An independent woman fearful of being controlled by male aggression is likely to try and find a non-confrontational male to avoid becoming powerless.
These issues will usually only begin to show after the relationship has been active for some time and each party has developed some confidence in the other to start dropping their strategic behaviour and show more of their actual sense-of-self. Exposing these negative aspects to each other can ring-in the beginning of problems in the relationship. Over time this will lead to conflict and resentment and potentially separation or to a relationship that is sustained by negotiated concessions and conditions — constant compromise.
We unconsciously choose partners who represent perfect matches for our issues. The relationship then we then create will not allow us to live life embracing our unique authentic self and live our truth to its fullest potential. In that respect, our relationships do not only represent an emotional return to the negative emotional states of our childhood but in doing so also are also a great opportunity for clarity, resolution and change.
For more information on this subject read
The Truth Of Love and Fear
by Rudy Eckhardt
Meta-Credo Pty Ltd