The very idea that something is not what we think it is creates fear and suspicion in most people. The thought that your own reality might not be what you believe it to be is enough to incite aggressive denial and dismissal. Yet we are confronted by our own illusions every day without realizing it and that is what is really scary.
All of us have been attracted to someone and fallen in love with them and much later realized they were totally different to the person we thought they were. Often this does not happen once but many times. Surprisingly even though we do not seem to be able to fix our problem we always sure we know who is responsible. Generally others are blamed for our own misconceptions. Even though we are the common factor in all our relationships, we are always the victim and never the source of the problem.
If all of your relationships were a crime you would definitely be a major suspect. We can spend our life searching for the perfect person for us but our own issues and fears stand in the way. We are so hung up on fears and insecurities many of which we are not even aware of that we do cannot see how they have altered our perception of others and our expectations. If, for example, you are a man with mistrust issues with women or a woman who has this issue with men you will distrust every female or male you meet. To you no one of the opposite sex can be trusted which if you first meet someone is not the best way to get into a relationship.
The idea that no one can be trusted is your illusion but you make others responsible for your fears because you expect them to prove to you that they are trustworthy. Unfortunately your fear demands that others prove to you that they can be trusted which make you vulnerable to what you can call the convincers of this world. Your attraction to them, your controlling conditional behaviour to ensure that you will not be deceived will ultimate lead to proof that they are unable to fulfil your expectations. This will convince you that they cannot be trusted even though you created and manifested the whole situation through your distorted perception and controlling behavior. And this is just one of many emotional illusions you can have about your opposite gender.
Playing out our illusions in relationships, work and life in general though our behavior and choices we inevitably create pain and suffering for ourselves. When as a result things then do not work out for us and we feel powerless or cannot cope. Frequently, we want to get away from what we believe to be the origin of our pain and start anew. This can mean that relationships will end and start new ones and sometimes that we will move somewhere else with the belief that a change of geography will be the solution.
None of it will really work or only work temporarily. The real issue is you and you are the one who has to change in order for your life to be different. Any experience in life provides you with a great opportunity to change ‘who you believe you are’ or you can choose to get lost in your issues and problems through all the distractions it offers. The choice is always up to you and that depends on what you really want. You can transcend your fear-based illusions and find the authentic nature of your being. By disposing of the fears that create these illusions you will find the real and authentic you and than you will experience people and the world for what they really are.
For more information on this subject read
The Truth Of Love and Fear
by Rudy Eckhardt
Meta-Credo Pty Ltd